


you can't call a story cornflakes

by gwen_diblley



Category: Monty Python RPF, Monty Python's Flying Circus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-05 08:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3112361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwen_diblley/pseuds/gwen_diblley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>just before the broadcast of the first episode of "monty pythons flying circus" the group get an offer from the bbc they can't refuse...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Morning After The Night Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> with a thumping headache, a broken toaster and a house full of friends, Eric idle's morning isn't exactly going very smoothly

His eyes opened and traced the pattern of the wallpaper on the wall opposite. He kept trying to will himself to get up put he didn't want to disturb any of the cogs which he could hear whirring inside of his head. Sunday mornings were the worst. Unlike the most of previous “nights before” this one was one of the best he’d had in a long time. He, Eric Idle, had had a wonderful night after finishing filming the first series of his new show, Monty Python's Flying Circus. It was to be broadcast the next week, and to celebrate a brilliant series (if he may say so himself) the whole group went out and got, well... shit faced. 

He rolled out of bed and stumbled through the door when “fuck!” he stubbed his toe on the door frame. Eyes welling up with pain, he hopped out through the door when WHACK! He tripped over a sleeping Michael Palin, who was cured up in a ball on the landing, sleeping, well he was asleep until Eric tripped over him 

“What the hell are you doing?” Palin asked, absolutely shattered

“What do you mean what the hell am I doing? You’re asleep on my landing!” Eric replied, flustered, his toe had stopped throbbing now.

“well, I was going to go home yesterday, but then I thought, Eric lives round here, I’ll stay with him, so Graham let me in” mike replied modestly as always, stood up and started walking down the stairs.

“What, Graham’s here? Why did he spend the night, he only lives 5 minutes away?” Eric replied confused, and then followed mike down the stairs.  
They wandered into the living room and they were automatically hit with a wall of smoke, it was only nine in the morning and already Graham was sat there, smoking his pipe and smiling away to himself.

“Ahh, good morning, lovely day isn't it?” Graham said contently

“What are you doing here? Why didn't you go home last night? How are you so awake? Why isn't your head thumping?” Eric asked flustered

"Ahem” Graham replied tapping at his pipe, mike giggled and sat himself down at the chair in the corner; Eric sighed and wandered into the kitchen to make some toast.  
He looked down into his kitchen and tried to remember where he kept bread, ah yes the microwave, he stumbled to the toaster, realised it was broken, not before stuffing the bread in and angrily shoving the lever down ten times before mike called from the living room to remind him, so placed four pieces of bread under the grill, two for him, and two for Graham. 

“What do you want mike?” Eric shouted

“Pardon?” mike replied, that was his problem, most people would shout “what?” But mike was always super polite and used more manners than, well Jesus.

“What do you want for breakfast?”

“Oh, please can I have some cereal?” mike replied, sweet as ever

“Cereal, okay then” Eric went to the cupboard to check for cereal, oh what a shame, they only had the cereal suitable for small four year old boys, well they’d have to do. Eric could smell something, what was Graham smoking? This smelt awful, like burnt toast or some-


	2. An Impromptu Coffee

The three of them decided to eat breakfast out, even if they did look a right state, it was better than trying to make anything themselves. They wandered around for a while, mike complaining silently about being hungry, Graham staying quiet by smoking incessantly. Until they found a small coffee shop on a street corner

“Ooh, I've been here before” Graham suddenly piped up out of nowhere

“Really it doesn't look like somewhere you’d ever go.” Mike replied

“Yeah, it isn't, but John dragged me in there once, I can’t remember why, even he’s not a coffee person, called it a sanctuary or something” Graham said, drifting off and then returning to his pipe.

“Well, shall we go in then?” Eric replied walking towards the door, the others nodded and followed him in.  
Sat at a table in the middle of the room was a man named John and two men named terry. They looked up and seemed not at all surprised to see the other three lingering at the doorway.

“Well, come and sit down then!” John said as if he was expecting them

“I'm sorry, were you expecting us?” mike asked as they all took a seat around the table.

“I did leave you all a very explaining message on your phone, I expect you got it?” John replied, getting a little frustrated

“Actually, we've been out for a while, we had a small... fire problem...” Eric replied 

“Fire problem?” terry Jones replied, “You didn't try using that god awful toaster again did you?”

“No, it was my fault I asked for cereal, so he wasn't focusing on the bread in the grill.” mike said innocently

“Oh, don’t blame yourself mike,” Graham butted in “to be honest-.”

“To be honest, I don’t care.” John butted in abruptly” now listen here, I've just had a call from a very important man”

“Who? Why is he so imp-” Eric replied, but he was silenced when John started speaking again. 

“His name was Daniel Jameson, and he’s from the department of future hits at the BBC, he said we can go on a one year trial to see what impression we will make on society in the future.” John stated, everybody else at the table looked at him, confused. They all stayed quiet for a few moments, none of them wanted to say anything, worried that they were the only ones at the table who didn't have a clue what John was going on about.

“That sounds like a load of bollocks,” Graham exclaimed, finally breaking the silence, “what the hell is a department of future hits, how does anybody know what’s going to happen in the future? We can’t travel in time for god’s sake!”

“Well, we have a meeting scheduled with him this afternoon, if he’s a nutcase who talks to squirrels, we’ll say no thank you and leave. But if what he’s saying actually is true, well,  
we need to seriously think about what to do next.” John replied with a scorning look in Graham's direction. 

“What, wait, is this real or am I still drunk?” Eric piped up, rubbing his forehead with a confused look on his face, “is that actually about time travel?”

“Well, essentially yes,” John replied.

“Oh, come on John, you’re supposed to be the serious one!” terry Gilliam pointed out.

“Well, they have sent men to the moon, maybe time travel isn't too stupid sounding...” mike said; always being the nice guy, he joined the side of the loser in every argument. 

“Erm, yes it is, it’s really illogical.” Terry Jones replied, and at that point mike shut up.


	3. Daniel Jameson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the six meet a very odd man.

Later that afternoon, the six men wandered into the BBC studios, one of them excited, two completely against the idea of going and the other three still not entirely sure why they were there.   
They walked up three flights of stairs and then ambled into a room labelled ‘meeting room three’. Immediately they came face to face with Daniel Jameson, a slight little man with rimless, square glasses and short ginger hair.   
“Good afternoon gentlemen” he started his voice unlike his body, was deep and booming, and shocked the six men, “if you wouldn't mind taking a seat”  
Daniel then explained the situation, the BBC had acquired funding from the government to test out new shows by seeing how popular they are in the future, and have developed a ‘time machine’ where they can transport a maximum of six people forward forty five years to see if people still remember their show. The time travel only lasted two weeks and there would be no side effects.  
“Forty five years, that’s a really long time, I’ll be an old man by then!” Graham replied, “I can’t remember what was going on forty five years ago from now!”

“It was the twenties, nothing was going on” John said, exasperated.

“Well, what do you think?” Daniel asked, his big grin looking up at them “you’ll go down in history whatever way it goes...”

“I'm up for it” John said

“Well we knew that already...” Graham said taking another puff of his pipe “why not, I'm up for it too, it’ll be nice to see old man me”

“Remember, your future selves will remember doing this, so in a way there’s no point hiding yourselves from them,” Daniel pointed out.

“But we’ll miss the first two episodes of our show,” Eric whined and Terry Jones nodded in agreement.

“But we’ll have the rest of the series to come back to!” mike pointed out, “anyway, I've always wanted to go travelling, I can’t deny myself the chance to travel in time!”

“Okay then, I am in” Eric sighed, “although that might be the hangover talking...”

“Well I'm in, let’s see if I'm remembered!” Terry Jones said, that just left Gilliam.

“Okay then, fine let’s do this!” and they were all in. 

“ you have one day gentlemen, pack everything you think you’ll need and meet back here tomorrow at six o'clock in the morning, sharp.” Daniel Jameson then left the room, and   
that concluded the meeting.

“Ooh, how space agey” Eric jeered, and they all set off home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you can tell, but I'm more used to writing scripts than stories, therefore my text is more speech heavy...  
> I hope this isn't a problem and I am working to writing more descriptive stuff in this story as it continues!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is only short, but it bridges the gap quite nicely!

The next morning, at six o'clock sharp; the six men, seven including Daniel, met again in meeting room three. Mike arrived first, he had brought with him a rucksack full of clothes, a spare pair of shoes, a map of London and the surrounding areas, English to Chinese dictionary, the underground map, a compass and three different hats. He was worried that he hadn't brought enough.   
Eric arrived next, all he had with him was his guitar, then Terry, who brought a notepad. John arrived next, with a small suitcase packed tight with clothes. Then Graham, but he only brought his pipe, as per usual. And lastly Terry Jones, who brought a very small bag, which had a change of underwear.

“I'm sorry Eric, Graham and terry; but how are you going to cope?” mike started, “you’re going away for two weeks and all you’re bringing is a guitar??”

“Yeah, well I'm going to buy future clothes!” Eric replied giddily

“Okay then, are you guys ready?” Daniel Jameson clapped his hands together and opened the door “follow me, gentlemen, follow me”  
They followed him down the corridor and back up the stairs. The got into a large car, and then drove for a very long time.   
Then they all got out of the car. They were in what looked like an abandoned warehouse. Right in the middle of the space was what looked like a large shipping container.

“Right! Well just in there gents, I won’t go in with you so this is goodbye then, I’ll see you in two weeks!”

“What... just in there?” Gilliam asked puzzled

“Yes, now come on come on, they’re expecting you!” Daniel replied, pushing them in the direction of the container.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Monty python walked towards the container. Monty python got inside the container. Inside the container, Monty python found a very dark space, with a standard lamp in the corner and six armchairs. Monty python sat down in the chairs, they were sat there for a very long time. Well, it was a long time for us. For Monty python, it was about fifteen minutes.


	5. In The Container

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> only really short sorry, but since I've got back after Christmas my work load has gone up...  
> Thought I'd write this bit in the form of a script because writing in the same way all the time is boring! Tell me what you think about it in the comments!

JC: Gray, for the next fifteen minutes, could you please NOT smoke? It’s just there are no windows and I don’t really want to spend the rest of the day smelling like the inside of your pi-  
GC: Okay, for you I won’t.  
EI: (drumming of the arm of his chair) I'm bored already... how long we have been in here?  
TJ: Three minutes.  
EI: Okay, well I'm going to go for a walk around...  
JC: Around what? I'm sorry to break it to you Eric, but we happen to be in a container.  
EI: Yeah, but I don’t know what is behind that lamp!  
JC: I don’t want to spoil the surprise for you but I think it could be the back of the fucking cont-  
TJ: Why don’t you just leave him alone to his walk John?  
JC: His walk? You could get better exercise in a prison cell! Now I know you Welshmen are one for ROMANTIC WALKS ALONG THE-  
TG: For god’s sake John what is up with you?  
JC: what is up with me? What is up with you lot, I haven’t been able to get a single sentence out yet without being interrupted in one way or an-  
(Loud clatter as EI walks into the lamp and knocks it over)  
EI: sorry!


End file.
